Hmmmmmm, Maybe We Should Buy A Giant Badger
DANIEL
RUTH
Here's the dirty little secret about law-and-order life in post-Sept. 11
Any huckster with enough
chutzpah probably could persuade a number of law enforcement agencies to buy
millions of dollars worth of clown noses required to be worn by all officers
mandated under the guise of ``national security.''
Gracious, had Bennie Holder
stuck around as Tampa's police chief much longer, he might have been persuaded
to buy the giant wooden rabbit from ``Monty Python and the Holy Grail'' as an
undercover tool to fight all those terrorists lurking about New Suburb
Beautiful.
You know, it's sort of a
toss-up as to what is more cheesy here:
First, in the waning days
of his tenure as chief, Holder thought nothing of violating his own department
rules by commercially endorsing, in uniform, the surveillance equipment of a
city vendor, GyroCam Systems.
Uh, just what part of
this - not only incredibly dumb, but grossly unethical - didn't Holder
understand?
But wait! It gets even
more Limburger-like.
Second, it seems the
equipment Holder pimped for, and bought for more than $2.37 million, turned out
to be about as effective a surveillance tool as one of those cardboard
periscope mirrors spectators use at golf tournaments.
One of the items approved
by Holder was (cue the ``Miami Vice'' theme) a 32-foot, fancy-schmancy
speedboat outfitted with the GyroCam Triple Sensor camera with night vision,
thermal imaging and assorted other navigational bells and whistles.
The boat was touted as
the flagship vessel of Rear Adm. Bennie Holder's navy.
Indeed, a demonstration
of the SS Potemkin beguiled Holder and then- Mayor Dick Greco when the boat's
camera was able to spot officers hiding under a pier from a distance of 100
yards. Geez, you would have thought the Krispy Kreme scent would have given
them away.
Holder approved the
purchase without even consulting officers in the marine unit, who might
actually know a thing or two about BOATS!
And the SS Andrea Doria
has been a rousing success, too - guarding the Tampa Police Department Marine
Unit maintenance shed, where it has been out of service for 159 out of 294
days.
Bargain Hunter
Time and again,
propellers have broken off from excessive friction because of a hull flaw.
There have been additional problems with motors, and seawater has leaked into
the spiffy camera.
Uh, nearly $500,000 for
the SS Pinafore and the propellers keep falling off? Who designed this thing?
Jeepers, Peter O'Toole in
``Lawrence Of Arabia'' spent more time in the water
than the SS Ducky Wucky.
But our shrewd bargain
hunter wasn't done. The chief also approved a $98,000 camera system mounted in
a large ball on the underside of the TPD Cessna.
The aircraft has been
able to capture pictures with the clarity of a lens being only a few feet off
the ground - which is exactly where the aircraft has sat since the surveillance
system was installed.
It seems the weight of
the camera, when the plane is otherwise fully loaded, disrupts the Cessna's
center of gravity, which makes flying less safe than a casual stroll in the
middle of the speedway during the Daytona 500.
Memo to Bennie Holder:
For your own sake, stay away from
Muskets For All
Let us not forget it was
Bennie Holder's TPD that got all gaga over the high-tech face-scanning gizmo
that was supposed to identify all manner of desperado who might show up in
New Chief Stephen Hogue
now finds himself inheriting a pile of flawed but pricey toys his predecessor
was lured into approving.
It could have been worse;
had Holder remained in office, he might be giving muskets to the rank and file
as the latest in antiterrorism technology.
What a sad footnote to a
law enforcement career:
Holder was so clueless to
the obvious appearance of a conflict of interest that he was willing to allow
his badge to be used to help sell ... stuff. And then, it never occurred to the
ex- chief when he signed on as a consultant for GyroCam, the company he had
done business with, that the situation would look sleazy.
Perhaps
he didn't care about his reputation any more than he cared about the quality of
the merchandise he bought with your money.
This story can be found at: http://tampatrib.com/News/columns/MGAZSSPOUMD.html