Beverly J. Anderson, Ph.D., B.C.E.T.S.
Clinical
Director, Metropolitan Police Employee Assistance Program
(MPEAP)
President, Beverly Anderson Associates, Inc., Washington,
D.C.
More than any other occupation, law enforcement is an emotionally
and physically dangerous job. Police officers continually face the
effects of murder, violence, accidents and disasters. Rotating
shifts, long hours and exposure to life's tragedies exact a heavy
toll on police officers and their families. The results are
alarming: high divorce rates, suicide, domestic violence, heart
attacks, cancer, depression and alcoholism. Law enforcement, the
media, and the public foster the myth that police officers can
experience trauma and violence without suffering any ill effects.
Research has shown just the opposite: when stressors are prolonged
and overwhelming, an individual's ability to cope becomes
difficult.
Suicide is a serious problem that is not often talked about in
police circles. It is very hard, if not impossible, for us to
understand why someone chooses to end his or her life. Shock and
disbelief are usually the first responses to an officer's
suicide.
Reactions After a Suicide
Reactions to suicide can sometimes be irrational and destructive.
Remember, no one can "second-guess" or take responsibility for
another person's reactions to the events that are happening in his
or her life. And suicide is not the only response to life's
problems. Suicide is the ultimate act of violence that hurts many
people around the victim.
Anger and guilt are two very natural and normal responses to
suicide. Yet, these emotions are very difficult for police officers
to talk about. However, many friends and family members of the
suicide victim talk about having feelings of guilt for not
preventing the suicide. They believe that they should have seen it
coming. Sometimes suicide is an impulsive act, one that has not
really been planned out by the victim. A major difference between
the general public and police officers is the immediate availability
of a weapon. When a police officer decides to commit suicide, he or
she doesn't have to go out and get a gun - the means are available
at all times. In fact, the number "one" method of suicide by police
officers is their gun.
Anger is normal after suicide and should be expressed - it's part
of the grieving process. Sometimes the anger is directed towards the
victim. It doesn't mean that you didn't love the person because
you're angry. I don't believe that people who commit suicide
understand the pain it causes for family and friends. For children,
a parent's suicide leaves a lifetime legacy of torment. Many child
survivors have told me that their parents didn't love them enough to
stay and persevere through life's problems.
Sometimes anger is misdirected at family members, friends,
colleagues or organizations. Anger can be very isolating since it
can distance people from each other. It's not pleasant being around
someone who is always angry. Talk about your anger to someone who
can help you understand it.
Otherwise you may say or do things that you will regret later on.
You have every reason to be angry - that's okay. (Anger is often a
common emotion for police officers anyway). What's not okay is
taking out your anger unfairly on yourself or others.
Your anger is not going to go away on its own. Unless you find a
way to express it, you may suffer emotionally or physically from its
effects. You could become verbally abusive to citizens or family
members. When you find yourself short on patience, quick to lash out
and criticize or lethargic and emotionally down, it's time for
professional help. Another response is emotional numbing where you
just don't feel anything.
Reactions after a violent suicide, especially for those who find
the person, are more complicated and intense. While most police
officers have seen the aftermath of violent suicides, it's much
different when the victim is a fellow officer. The shock and horror
upon discovering the victim and the image that is engrafted in the
mind can be overwhelming. Grief becomes more complex when this
occurs. The mental picture will remain with the person sometimes
accompanied by flashbacks, nightmares and thoughts.
Police officers all too often stuff their feelings so as to not
appear weak. But emotions are normal and in order to heal, you must
unburden what you have had to endure - you must tell the story.
Discovering the body of a friend or loved one is shocking and
painful - an experience that you will never forget. It is important
to share the powerful emotions that this experience brings.
Healing & Recovery
Be gentle with yourself and your fellow officers. Grieving is a
long process - one that is very personal and sometimes difficult to
understand.
Talk to friends, co-workers, and family about the suicide. While
traditionally this is very hard for police officers to do, it's a
vital part of healing and recovery.
Unlike a "line of duty" death, police suicides are often
enshrouded in shame and silence. While social attitudes have become
more informed about suicide, there remains a stigma that people must
deal with. All too often people are quick to form judgments.
Survivors are left to somehow make sense of this terrible tragedy
maybe even feeling responsible in some way for contributing to
it.
It is important to discourage rumors about the "reason" for the
suicide. While seeking to place blame on others is a natural
response, it's not helpful in the long run. Besides, life is very
complicated and there are usually several contributing factors in a
suicide death. To think that one person or one event is the sole
cause is not consistent with what we know about suicide. We can
never know for sure what is going on in another person's mind any
more than we can know all the reasons that cause a person to choose
suicide.
GO TO THE FUNERAL. No matter what your beliefs or feelings are
about suicide, funerals are an important ritual for closure and
acceptance of the reality that the person has died. It is a final
"goodbye" that we share with each other.
Taking Care of Each Other
There exists among police officers a very special bond. One
reason for this is that police officers are isolated from the rest
of the world by virtue of the kinds of work-related events they
experience.
They are bonded in tragedy and the knowledge of how cruel life
can be. The everyday stress of being a police officer can lead to
serious difficulties when you add personal problems, too. The "image
armor" that the public and the media portray also places a burden on
police officers. But police officers have problems like anyone
else.
When a fellow officer is experiencing personal problems, get
involved by suggesting to him or her that help is available. A major
contributing factor in police suicide is marital and relationship
problems. It is also the number "one" reason why people come to the
MPEAP. The job of policing affects an officer's family more than any
other job I know. Since 1988 over 6,000 MPD Officers, officials and
family members have come to us for counseling. There is no cost to
you and the funds for MPEAP do not come out of your dues.
The MPEAP is a Union - negotiated benefit that is privately
contracted and staffed by licensed therapists with over 70 years of
combined clinical experience.
All counseling is confidential except in life threatening
situations. Officers are informed about this policy before they talk
to us. When an officer is suicidal, the MPEAP's policy in all cases
is to remove the officer's weapon and provide medical intervention
immediately. There really is no other way. Many people have
considered suicide at some point in their lives. This does not mean
that they are "suicidal." Conversely, there are some people who do
not talk about suicide before taking their lives. Each case is
unique and not always easy to predict despite the warning signs.
However, the early warning signs in and of themselves indicate that
intervention and/or counseling may be warranted.
Know some of the early warning signs and get help. They are:
1. Personal and financial problems for which the officer feels
there are no solutions
2. Increase in alcohol use
3.
Work-related problems
4. Divorce or break-up of a
relationship
5. Increase in sick days
6. Mood swings
7.
Depression
8. Recent death in the family
9. Exposure to a
work-related trauma
10. Use of deadly force
If you are concerned about a fellow officer but do not feel
comfortable talking to him or her, call us. The MPEAP is located in
a private building away from all police facilities. The telephone
number is 202-546-9684
©2002 Dr. Beverly J. Anderson & Gift From
Within
